I remember when I was at college, I was passing a room containing two fellow students and I could clearly hear them as they mocked and gossiped about another student. Even though I risked their friendship I was so angry and concerned that I immediately challenged them that they absolutely shouldn't do this. What if the very person they were talking about walked past the door; they would be deeply hurt by what they as they heard. Later that day both of those students came to me and thanked me for what I'd done and apologised for what they had said. I wish I spoke out more often!
The truth is it's really hard to be that challenging isn't it? When you hear gossip or lies or exaggeration coming from a respected Christian mouth it can be hard to challenge (especially if it's your own).
Speaking the Truth in Love is just saying it as it really is without the emotional baggage that is either angry towards or fearful of other people. How many times have I said yes and inside been shaking my head thinking no? How many times have I heard someone make a joke at another's expense and even though I winced, the laughter of others stopped me from speaking out. How many times I have I allowed other people to tell me what I should be doing instead of coming right now and saying this is who I am and this is what I'm about!
A few years ago I was asked to lead a group of 60 people. Having many times held back from being truthful about who I was and what I was about I decided to take a risk and told this group that I wouldn't be doing any Pastoral care for anybody (and encourage them that I felt they had all the gifts they needed amongst themselves to care for one another). This is because I'm just not very good at Pastoral care I want to be involved in mission. The second thing I said to them was that I didn't do Christian meetings (you now, the organising ones). I can't tell you what a relief it was to get that out in the open! One astute and gifted guy came up to me afterwards and he asked how we would be able to meet together if I didn't do Christian meetings. An idea popped into my head so I told him I liked going for walks and invited him to come walking in the hills with me.
The opposite of speaking the truth in love in the New Testament is called falsehood (Greek word = pseudo). I want to be somebody who is the same, a person of integrity: someone who knows when to speak and knows when to be silent. My African friends have a saying
"anything minus integrity equals nothing"
May you have the boldness and grace today to keep learning to speak the truth.in love …about yourself …about other people … and about God in all circumstances.
Go on SAY IT AS IT IS!!!!!
For meditation:
“and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:23-27)
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